Back To Reality...

...I'm trying to decide if this is a good thing or not. I'm ready to be back in my own bed instead of on a pullout mattress, but I'm not ready to be back to classes, work, and most of all, away from my family. I've loved not having to wake up at a specific time for anything--minus today, just for church....I've loved not having to go to work....I've loved the fact that I got my paper done for theology the night I got here so I could relax this weekend...

However, it'll mean a lot less watching what I don't want to--don't get me wrong. I love baseball. But not 24 hours a day....It'll also mean a lot less pool time in the middle of October...It'll mean less sleeping in....less doing nothing and not feeling guilty....

I met a couple great people in Nashville this year, had a blast on the town with Leah, had some fun with the parents...But I guess I'm ready to get back to what I'm comfortable with (i.e. Louisville)...I will say, however, that 4th street has been put to absolute SHAME by downtown Nashville :) <3

Nashvegas

Fun times, not gonna lie. Fall break in Nashville with mama and papa Sweitz and Leah...Spent some quality time with mom today shopping, played some cards with dad, just hung out in general..Now it's time for me and Leah to paint this town red!!! :)

definitely need some out time, been a slightly depressing day, and that definitely needs to be changed. Church tomorrow followed by home-made breakfast, putt putt, a spa day at the condos with Leah, then a movie with everyone :) Sad that I can't participate in Canadian Thanksgiving on Monday, but it's for the best...

if you're reading this, please include in your prayers Jack McGetrick. Bellarmine's men's lacrosse coach died today from a long battle of cancer. He was a true inspiration to any who knew him, and he will be missed tremendously. Together Livestrong....

Reasons

Everything happens for a reason...

How many times have we heard this throughout our lives? Parents tell us this when we don't get into the college of our choice; our best friend tells us this when our boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with us; we tell ourselves this when we fail a test...But do those words ever provide the comfort they're meant to? Maybe, maybe not. I'm the kind of person to go back and forth on comfort or not. Right now, I have zero comfort in those words. Mostly because I'm buried under so much homework and have no time for anything. I have a research project to work on, that will literally take 2 semesters...I have a project on Lou Gehrig to start working on...I have a project on Albert Schweitzer and Bach that needs to be done before finals...I have midterms, other tests, papers....All while balancing two jobs, actually attending class, and trying to have a social life. I've given up on the latter, mostly because it's not possible it seems. Looking at my work schedule for my new job, I'm honestly amazed that I haven't been fired yet. I've requested off for this weekend for fall break, then the night of the 16th for my b'day party--but I'll be working in the a.m....then the morning of the 17th for my Pure Romance party--but working the night...Then asked completely off for the night of the 22nd so I can do some last minute cramming because I took off the next morning for the GRE...It just sucks that literally everything's happening right now, this month, and yeah...But they haven't said anything yet....So we'll see. But that's what's going on in my life...Hopefully it all slows down a little for me...

No Day But Today

It's true. There really is no day but today. I may have stolen that line from RENT, but I truly believe it. That's why every day should be lived to its fullest potential. Since adopting that 'mantra', I have:
1)Deleted people from my facebook that I either--do not talk to,--do not like and only had them to facebook stalk, or--only had them on there because of our past
I felt so good doing that because it freed me of useles emtions such as guilt, angst, sadness...I got into an argument with Landon's new girlfriend, and deleted him because I don't need the added stress in my life.
2)Made peace with those who have done me wrong, such as --Caroline. I figured I'd owed it to her to at least meet with her and talk about what happened that night, thinking she'd realize she needed to apologize...She didn't, and I didn't do anything wrong, so basically, I've said "enough". I don't need people in my life who constantly make me feel like it's all my fault when it's not.
3)Become friends with people that, at first, I never thought I would be, such as Kassi. We've become pretty good friends already, and I'm even going to play frisbee with her and her friends tonight. I'm pretty excited. Brian and I still aren't talking, but that'll change--at least, I hope it will...

I may be working all the time--still--, and I may have 0 money to show for it because of bills; I may be slowly losing whatever social life I had; and I may not get to see my family nearly as much as I'd like--but believe it or not, I'm happy with where my life is right this second. And you know why? Because there's No Day But Today :)

Slacking

Wow I'm such a slacker! I've been incredibly busy since moving in but it's all worth it! The house is amazing, and my job's going great :) Actually, we're having a party on Friday, I'm super stoked about it. :)

I
Love
Summer
<3

Score :)

Good things happened today--

BU won against OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY IN LACROSSE!!!!!!

I moved into my house--finally :)

I saw my parents--my daddy surprised me by coming :)

<3

Done :)

As of right now, I am a Senior at Bellarmine University!!!! :) I'm sitting at Nicole's because I can't move into my house til Saturday now :( But other than that, I'm legit!

I love summer <3

Chopped and Screwed

Ya know. I worked so hard on that f-ing paper...And forgot the key element. So I handed in the hard copy and was allowed to add onto the paper for the emailed copy and he'd grade that one..But the highest I could get is a B because it would be late as of 11 a.m. I worked so hard on it. But, it's better than a failing grade. And I can only be mad at myself...

Presentation went well :) MOVING SOON!!!!! :)

Finals

Oh.
My.
Gosh.

Those are the 3 words running through my head repeatedly for the past 3 days. I finally finished my paper...but I'm having the hardest time focusing on my study guide for my final tomorrow...It's killin me! I definitely am gonna need some divine intervention on this final....Pray for me and wish me luck!!!

DONE

Thank God I'm done with junior year minus the finals!!! And to celebrate? Apparently 6 hours of work (filled with studying for finals. boo) and Karsen's birthday celebration tonight at Keaton's. It'll be a good time, I hope..Nice little study break! :)

~Dear God--thank you for this absolutely gorgeous day and for letting me make it through this school year with only minor difficulties. I owe you one. Love, me. Amen~ :)

Lax, Sunburns, and Thunder

So Saturday, I attended the lacrosse game, where I got a nice sunburn on one side of my body. Not gonna lie, it kinda sucked. However, when I went to work, since it was Thunder, no one was in there and I could just kinda sleep the pain off. After work, I made it feel a little better by adopting one of my roommate's dresses and hit up the lacrosse party, thinking I'd catch the eye of someone I like. Ha. Not hardly. But it was still a good time, and I played DD all night for various athletes. I'd much rather not drink and then drive them home than them try and drive and get hurt. Or hurt others. Being a bartender has had a serious effect on my judgment when it comes to drinking.

I have 2 days of classes left, 1 paper due for finals, 2 presentations, and one actual final and then it's SUMMER! I move in with Katie, Alex, and Holly(who took Maria's place) May 1, which is Derby, but we're okay with missing it. WOOO!!!

Home

"there's a yellow brick road that we follow back home 'cause I know you can't wait your belligerent hate there's no place like home there's no place like home like home"

Breaking Benjamin had it right for sure. There's no place like home. Today has been a rage-ful day. I go to Kosters with some friends and I see him. someone who doesn't even deserve right now to have a mouth full of teeth to smile with. How can people stand there and say such obviously outrageous lies about someone and be totally okay with it? Even more of a curiosity to me is why he said the things he did, other than I told him 'no'? What is it with people these days????

Deep breaths and productivity are the key. I've already completed 2 of the 3 powerpoints i need to do, and I'm about to start researching for my portion of a 12-page paper due for our final and then finish researching for my 15 page suicide paper...Wish me luck!

Feelings

Thanks to Leah's inspirational blog, I've decided to try a small list of things too about what I'm feeling today and the realizations that have happened to me today:
~No matter what, music can make you feel better.
~The people who have bad things to say about you, more times than not, have absolutely no room to talk.
~Good friends are incredibly difficult to come by, so when you find one, KEEP THEM.
~If you work at a strip club, it's best NOT to get involved in any of the drama--it just pisses them off more.
~The more faith you have, the less stressful your life is if you just hand things over to Him.
~The more White Russians a person has while studying with a cute guy, the more confident she gets. :)

I have become way more confident in myself and what I am capable of, and it's starting to show, at least I think so. I've also found that blogging every day helps relieve some stress that I didn't need and I feel better after every post, so that's why I post every day. So if you follow this every day, I apologize. :)

<3

:)

Well,I have decided sometimes it's better to just do things. I made the decision to get the feelings out there and it turned out decently well for me...So we'll see ;)

On an unhappy note, I'm pretty sure I failed a test...Not good....Oh well, everything happens for a reason, right? Like maybe I should have studied more....Haha. Now I have plans with the sun to lay out with Caroline, while Will fishes...And while I try not to hit him...

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

I'm Ready

There are just some days that you wake up, knowing you have a lot to do, and you just lay in bed going "I can do this." Today is definitely one of those days. I have so many papers and presentations to work on, plus class and work, and I'm just ready to tackle the day. I have 19 days until I move into my house--YAY!--I went for a walk with my bff Leah yesterday before 10 pm mass, only to end up at a bar hanging out with 3 of our international students, 2 of them lacrosse players. We sat outside and drank some and you know what? It was one of the best evenings I've had in a long time. I always have a good time with Leah, but adding those 3 was such a different experience, since I never hang out with them, and I'm looking forward to doing it again.

~I can do all things through Him~

xoxo, til next time--KM

Never Have I Ever...

Popular drinking game....Never have I ever made out with a friend's ex....Ok, that's a lie, but you get the point. This post is what I have done, and what I have felt. Have you ever felt something so intense for someone else that you just WANT to do something about it, but can't find the courage? Or just flat out tell them what's going on in your head? I hate the feeling, and even more, I hate not knowing what to do, and the feeling of just dread of what would happen if you did--what if they laugh? what if I'm just totally not good enough?....I guess I can just keep it in....

Praise God!

Today has been a fantastic day. I knock my interview out of the park and now have a new job at White House Black Market--SCORE! I got all of my errands done, which is a slight first for me, and am now starting my final paper for my sociological theory II class early. I'm just chillin' in the library, which sucks, and it's boring, but at the rate I'm going on this paper, it'll take me all 2 weeks to do it. Who knew a paper on suicide could be so hard?

I work 9-3 am tonight, going to the soccer game before that at 730, then tomorrow I have the baseball game, work, then chillin with my girl Nicole. I move into my house with Katie, Alex, and Maria on the 1st and it can't come soon enough! I'm just so excited!

Thank you, God, for giving me this absolutely gorgeous day, the focus to get so much done, and for the love and support of my family and friends. Amen.

KM

Class

The word "class" can mean so many different things....Webster's defines it as:

1.

a number of persons or things regarded as forming a group by reason of common attributes, characteristics, qualities, or traits; kind; sort: a class of objects used in daily living.

2.

a group of students meeting regularly to study a subject under the guidance of a teacher: The class had arrived on time for the lecture.

7.

a social stratum sharing basic economic, political, or cultural characteristics, and having the same social position: Artisans form a distinct class in some societies.

8.

the system of dividing society; caste.

9.

social rank, esp. high rank.

10.the members of a given group in society, regarded as a single entity.

To say that someone is not in the same "class" as you can be a negative connotation, while maybe the speaker is meaning the classroom setting. I am actually skipping class right now because I have a massive headache and just don't want to be in there--our speaker is making my headache worse. Do I feel bad about it? Yes and no. Yes because I said I had a doctor's appointment, which I should go get my knee checked out, it's been hurting...No because if I don't want to go, I shouldn't HAVE to--I'm not in high school anymore, my mom can't MAKE me go. Plus, the only times I've missed this class were when I was legit sick.

Sometimes I wonder...Where I've been...Who I am....Do I fit in? Make believin'...Is hard alone...Out here...On my own... <3

Everyday

Do you have days where you just...think? Nothing's focused, you don't pay attention in classes...That was me today. I just thought about what was important in my life and I couldn't come up with one thing in particular because I have my family...God...my friends...School....sadly, in that order. My family is dysfunctional, and I love it. There's no such thing as normal...

God will always be my man...I know I'm not the perfect example of what someone should be when they live for Him, but I'm trying, and He knows and He still loves me no matter what.

I have a decent amount of friends, but the one that has constantly been my rock at Bellarmine, the one I can literally talk to about ANYTHING with no taboo subjects, is Leah. Without her guidance and advice, I'd be so completely lost. Thanks Leah, I'm glad you're my best friend :) <3

School...Ugh. School's being saved for tomorrow's blog. :)

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.
Jawaharal Nehru

Always for the love of Him...KM